With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many of us have romance on our minds. This time of year can make us yearn for that special someone. While it’s never too late in life to find romance, it is important to approach romance with an understanding of how to date safely.
While many couples do meet online, looking for romance on the internet can pose risks, namely in the form of romance scams. Scammers know that many of us turn to the internet to find love, and they take advantage of this.
Romance scams often start online, either on a dating site or other social media website, like Facebook. Romance scams can also start with a random text message, from an unknown number. The scammer will assume a fake identity and attempt to establish a relationship with their target. The scammer will often tell their target that they are working outside of the United States. Often, the scammer will claim that they are in the military, a doctor, working in the building and construction business, or working an oil rig. This gives the scammer an excuse for being unable to meet in person. The scammer may tell their target that they want to meet in person and may even make plans to meet in person, but the in-person meeting never takes place.
The scammer will say all the right things to make their target think they are in love with the scammer. A scammer may spend many months communicating with their target to make the person feel like they have an emotional connection with the scammer. Often, the scammer will say all the right things, mirroring their target’s own interests and seeming to relate to their own experiences.
Eventually, the scammer will ask their target for money. The scammer might claim there is some kind of emergency, perhaps a medical one, and this is why they need the money. By the time this happens, the scammer has made their target feel like they have an emotional connection with the scammer. This makes that person more likely to do what the scammer tells them and send money to the scammer.
Learn to spot these types of scams so you can safely look for romance. If you’re not looking for romance yourself, maybe you have a friend who is. If your friend starts telling you about a person they met online, warn them about romance scams.
Signs of a Scam
- The person lives far away
- You never meet your love interest in person – you may make plans to meet in person, but something always comes up
- The person asks you for money, perhaps for an emergency of some kind, like medical expenses
- The scammer tells you how to pay, using a payment method that is hard to track and reverse – wire transfer, gift cards, money transfer apps, cryptocurrency
- You meet on a dating or social media website, and then the person asks to move to another messaging platform, like WhatsApp
- You get a text message from a number you don’t recognize, and the person wants to start a conversation with you
- The person messages you frequently
How to Protect Yourself
- Never send money or information about your bank account to someone you have not met in person
- Be careful what information you share online and keep your information private – scammers search the internet to learn more about you, enabling them to target you more effectively
- Research the person’s name, photo, and profile – maybe the information has been used elsewhere
- Stop talking with the person immediately if you suspect a romance scam
- Discuss your newfound romance with someone you trust, like a friend or family member, to get a different perspective on the situation
- Remember that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is
Click here to learn more about romance scams. If you are unsure if something is a scam or want help reporting scams, call Contra Costa Senior Legal Services at (925) 609-7900 for help.