Domestic violence cuts across all ages, socio-economic statuses, and cultural backgrounds. While we may think of it as abuse by a partner, sometimes other family members are the abusers.
Victims of domestic violence may have spent a lifetime with their abusers, staying due to financial, cultural, and family pressure. In some cases, victims may not recognize they are being abused because it has become a familiar part of their lives. As people age, they may be reluctant to leave their homes, neighbors, and friends, making staying with an abuser an easier choice. They may also worry that talking about the abuse will upset other family members or cause a rift within the family. Many victims feel a deep sense of shame and blame themselves for allowing the abuse to happen.
In other instances, the abuse is more recent and linked to family stress, illness, or dementia. When adult children are the abusers, factors such as mental illness and substance abuse can play significant roles. In these situations, parents may have spent years supporting their children only to find themselves in an abusive relationship.
Abuse may be physical, but it can also be emotional. Isolating and controlling the elder used to may be used to dominate and manipulate them. For example, the abuser may control where the victim goes and who they are allowed to socialize with. This can be subtle, making it difficult for the victim to recognize what is happening. However, the effect can be as harmful as physical violence.
Financial elder abuse is an increasing problem, often perpetrated by family members. Elders can help avoid financial abuse by ensuring they have Durable Power of Attorney in place. This document enables a trusted person to make financial decisions on their behalf, providing a safeguard against potential exploitation.
Survivors are not alone. Contra Costa Senior Legal Services can assist with restraining orders, explain legal rights, and connect survivors with other available resources. This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we stand “With Survivors, always”—ensuring older adults in our community are safe, supported, and heard.
DVAM 2025: With Survivors, Always | Domestic Violence Awareness Project